To You, Half a Decade Ago

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Dear, you.

Yes, you, I'm speaking to you now. The you I know who had set the milestone of life. The one who's brave enough to face the unknown. The one who dare to take a step ahead, going beyond the walls that become the sanctuary of your growing years.

I'd like to throw back to the bittersweet memories from the seemingly short time. The years that I may say, had changed and would've always changed life forever.

It was you, half a decade ago, who said "yes" to a challenge that not much of people your age would've taken. You took the long journey of self discovery, putting yourself hundreds of miles apart from a place you call home.

The early years weren't without obstacles. Each time you tried to take a step ahead, something would've tangled on your feet, making you lose your balance. You may no longer be able to count the times whenever you burst into tears, but I am certain that there are way more times that you could finally put up a smile.

You might have hidden your pain most of the times, you know they were not really pleasant. But I know for certain, you almost always survived those challenges. You enjoyed the journey, despite the feeling like you held a bunch of thorny roses that splattered bloods all over your hands.

I remember the you who longed to reach your dreams. The burden may seemed to overwhelm you a bit, but you always aspired to filled up the bucket list of wishes. People were being sceptical --they are always like that up until now-- but their words fell on the deaf ears. The only thing you listened to was the stubborn mind of yours, which of course, often annoyed people to the death. Ironically speaking, you were usually only one step away from almost proving that the stubbornness was worth it. Yet in the end, though not everyone knew neither cared, the little things you've achieved never failed to light the spark of hope inside of you. Even until now.

Had you were not be determined enough to step out of the sanctuary, you would never hold onto such a faith like you do now. Our Lord had shown us the clearing in the infinite jungle of life. Had He not guide you to walk on that path, perhaps you've already gone astray, much worse than today.

To you, half a decade ago,

I honestly have no idea what would you think, if you've ever met the I who lives today. Wouldn't you be disappointed for the dreams I've never fought for? Wouldn't you be in much dismay, seeing me in a place you never wish myself to be in? Wouldn't you become sad, seeing myself wasting so much time, so much privileges that I could live with today? The privileges, which you've never had the chance to taste.

Had we have the choice to switch our places now, wouldn't you be able to live up life to the fullest?

Or perhaps, was it just me, being so busy with the world and everything that I forgot to stop and smell the roses?

Wish me luck that if I have the chance to survive the upcoming years, the you half a decade from now won't be ashamed of what I can't do today.

Until later.